is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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