i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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