my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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