HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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