Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Acid is not a monday night drug
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Randomize
