I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
