he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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