census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
