32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize