Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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