if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Randomize