Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
