We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
