i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
