I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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