I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
