he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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