Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
