It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
