This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Randomize
