dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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