Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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