Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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