So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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