mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
