call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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