i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
