I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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