WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
don't judge my taste in strippers
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
