New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Man, jail baloney is awful.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
