well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
