I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
