Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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