Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize