Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
