my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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