She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
