I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
