Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize