I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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