I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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