Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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