You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize