It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
this just has baby written all over it
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
