doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
