well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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