I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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