Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
