This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
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just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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