summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
