I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
