i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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