One girl and one boy is just not enough.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
