R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
