my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
The feeling are messing with the penis
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
