did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
