I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize